Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
