You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
