just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
