I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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