perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
whose parrot is this?
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
