Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
