And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
