god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
