first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
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at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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