So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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