Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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