"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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