So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
She announced her abortion via fbk
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
