I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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