how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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