On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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