Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
