My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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