Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
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