your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
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The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
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this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
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