omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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