i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
