Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
