wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Randomize
