Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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