btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
