Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
How's work?
Spinning.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Randomize