I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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