The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
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