I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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