Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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