She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
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You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
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I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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