i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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