in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
