I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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