he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
so much tequila, so little girl.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
