literally had 100 drinks last night.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
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