are you so shy because you have an std?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
