I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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