He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize