Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
