"it" just moved
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
