She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
