Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
