I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize