I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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