it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Randomize
