There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
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