Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Randomize
