one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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