I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
