It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
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you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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