Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
