He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
