I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
