You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
