I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
