U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Randomize
