You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
