He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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