and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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